Saturday, January 3, 2009

On the Scenic Tour

When you look at your life, the greatest happinesses are family happinesses. ~Joyce Brothers

For some time now I have thought about where my life has been and where it is going. It’s funny how events can shape us if we allow them to. I had always had my life planned out as to where I was going and what I was going to do and for the most part, what I have worked so hard for and dreamt big for, has been achieved, not all, but most. My road map diverted and took scenic routes at times, but I managed to get back on track. I still have plenty of goals I want to achieve, but I am happy for the most part with what I have done with my life. No regrets, only experiences.

The loss of both my parents within the last 3 years has made me put a lot of things in perspective about what is important and what is not. Both my parents struggled to the very end with debilitating diseases. My mother, struggled her entire lifetime it seems. My father battled three forms of cancer for seven years, before losing his fight. Through it all though, they knew what was important; family. My road map went entirely off track when their health headed south. Some ridiculed me for my decisions in wanting to be there for my parents, but more encouraged me to know what was important; family. So I have been on the scenic tour for some time, some of it welcome, some not so much, during this time though I have learned a few things.

My children are growing faster than I expected them too. I guess I thought somewhere back when, that they would stay four foot tall and 10 years old. Much to my surprise they haven’t! I want to cherish the precious few years I have left before they leave to make their mark in the world.

I desperately love my husband. Not that I didn’t already or before, but I miss him when he is gone five and a half days a week now with his new job. I miss the smell he leaves of himself on the pillow next to mine. I miss him accusing me of my 492 looks when he has done something I do not approve of. I hate being the one to make the coffee Monday thru Friday now, he does it better. I want him with me so I can love him.

My horses really don’t mind, nor do they get ruined if I don’t ride every single one of them every week, so that I can have more time to do what is becoming more important in my life; family.

A simple phone call can be all it takes to make someone’s day turn bright.

A simple kindness to someone can mean more than you can possibly believe to them.

These are just some of the things I have learned on my little scenic tour.

I know this does not seem to relate to Argo, but in a lot of ways it does. He and I are more alike than I realized. He has been on the scenic tour since he was first captured in October 2007, and he is still trying to figure out where the map will lead him, as am I. Argo is slowly learning and accepting what family truly means. When his muzzle brushes across my jacket as he reaches for his grain, there is slowly becoming a greater softness in his eyes, an acceptance of me so to speak. A willingness to want to be with me; family.


Linda Reznicek said...

Yes, I agree, Argo is part of your family, and the lessons you learned when you were loyal to your parents when they needed you, are those you'll bring to him in his old age--as an older Mustang. It appears you've learned to be dedicated to those you love--and how can Argo not be the beneficiary of all that!! You're on the right path if you know what's important to you--some people never figure it out!! Nice post.

Grey Horse Matters said...

Thoughtful post. We are alike in the fact that I think family is the most important thing in the world. If you don't have family you have nothing. The horses are an important part of my family, but my husband, children and grandchildren come first in their needs. Like you I lost my mom to cancer years ago. It was heartbreaking. How could someone criticize you for spending time with your parents when they were ill. That was precious time that you will never get back. You sound like a wonderfully kind and caring person. Enjoy your children while they are young for they do leave sooner than you think, but the good news is they come back. I'm happy to hear that Argo is trusting you more all the time, and knows he is a welcome addition to the family.

Tracey said...

Lovely thoughts and sentiments. I'm always drawing similar links between me and my ponies.

CastoCreations said...

That is very sweet. :)

SkyBar Farm said...

Linda ~ I am extremely loyal to Argo, he has opened my eyes and my heart to a whole new world of experiences. Thank you for your kind words.

GHM ~ It has taken me a while to get to this point. I was so worried about achieving my own goals that I forgot for a time, that my family is what helps me achieve my goals. I have always believed that out of every bad comes something good. I feel the rapid decline of my parents health, was God's way of slapping me upside my head and saying "Hey! It's not all about you." It never ceases to amaze me as to how cruel some people can be in this world. The people who criticized me are very self involved and believe they have good intentions, their words and actions hurt, but when I really needed someone to pick me up, they were no where around. It was my family who picked me up.

Tracey ~ Thank you. It always amazes me as to the how I can so easily relate my life to theirs.

Casto ~ Thank you